The Escape Artist proposes that we optimise our lives for maximum happiness.
Some people will read this and be all like “Duh…obviously”. Some people know what makes them happy. Some even know and then do it. But this is much rarer than you might think.
Others will be inherently suspicious of anything as soft and mushy as the word happiness. Isn’t this a bit like motherhood, apple pie and world peace? Those people would say we have to aim for tangible objectives that are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Assignable, Realistic and Timely). But I’m not sure about that.
Its about values, not just about numbers. Reaching financial independence requires figuring out what is important to us and then prioritising it relentlessly. For me, one of the big mental leaps I needed to make on the journey was working out what the ultimate objective should be. The answer really is obvious. Our overriding objective has to be maximising happiness, I think. If its not happiness, then what?
I had always assumed that if I hit tangible goals (buy this thing, travel to this place, live in this house, learn this skill) then happiness would follow. This assumes happiness is just round the corner and will come via achievement of tangible goals. There is some truth in this but we need the right goals that are consistent with our overall values and where we want to get to in life.
Until recently I never set conscious personal goals or objectives – if you had asked me I would have said that this was too “self-helpy”. Lets face it, we are all (rightly) a bit suspicious of Self Help gurus and Feng Shui consultants. As for happiness, well that seemed too ephemeral to have as an objective. To me, happiness seemed like a nice concept but lacking substance. A bit like elves wings, floaty ghosts and pixie dreams.
But there is a large and growing body of empirical data on what actually makes people happy (and unhappy). For example, one of the main factors that’s been shown to make people miserable is commuting. This is a paradox because last time I was on the 6.53am train to Waterloo, it was rammed. Commuting sucks and yet thousands of people continue to do it. Why is this? They must be optimising for something other than happiness. Perhaps gross salary, perhaps perceived status?
Scientists have found that spending does not bring happiness. The evidence suggests that happiness in western societies is not really increased by income over £45,000 ($75,000) per year (implying its a relative measure as we compare ourselves to others).
Yet people continue to ignore this and seek to maximise spending at the expense of the rest of their life. In my experience, after an initial sugar rush for suckers, the relationship between spending and happiness is either non-existent or even negative.
We are conditioned at school and college to be goal focussed. The exam system actively encourages this – implying its all about the destination not the journey. The danger here is that other people (e.g. employers, advertisers, peers) will try to set your goals for you.
There is nothing wrong with being goal focussed but, somewhere along the way, I lost sight of the right goals and the things that actually made me happiest. It was odd that during my time in the Prison Camp, I spent a lot of money on fancy stuff – restaurants, holidays, houses etc. Yet I never really thought properly about bang for the buck. As in: did the happiness provided by that house really justify the price tag?
If you only remember one thing from this post, remember this: we are really bad at working out what really makes us happy…and then just doing it. The best way to start thinking about this is to put aside your pre-conceived notions of what makes you happy and try to measure it objectively, like you were a scientist standing next to yourself monitoring the situation. If it helps, get a clipboard and put on a white lab coat to get in the mood.
You need to remove the price tag from the value judgement. There is plenty of evidence that, despite what Jesse J might say, people unfortunately do not forget about the price tag. If you serve people the identical wine in a blind taste test and tell them that one cost £100 per bottle and one cost £10 per bottle, they will tell you that the £100 bottle tasted better.
People often believe that you get what you pay for. But in some areas of life, this is just not true. As Jack Bogle says: when it comes to investment fees, you get what you don’t pay for.
When I was in the Prison Camp, the happiest holidays I had were the cheapest – the staycations where I just chilled out at home. The best period was between Christmas and New Year when the emails died right down, the weather was ropy and there was nothing to do. This was bliss.
It was a paradox that, whilst I loved summer holidays, these provided less bang for the buck. When you spend a lot of time travelling for work, the prospect of spending more time in airports is not appealing. Whenever you have squeezed too much into your life, more new stuff or more travel can not provide the answer. In those circumstances, only less can be more. The trouble is that no one is ever paid to try to sell you less.
The other thing I found is that happiness is not just determined by objective reality. Its determined by how we think about that reality i.e. how we perceive it. Here’s one way that I found helpful to think about happiness:
Happiness = Reality – Expectations
If this is true then we can either increase our happiness by improving reality or by lowering our expectations or some combination of both. This is a bit like profit maximisation – no sensible firm maximises profit just by growing revenue and totally ignoring costs or by slashing costs, firing all the salesman and watching revenue evaporate. Its a balance.
The Escape Artist is all for working to improve your reality. Particularly where it involves actions which we can control. This may include earning and saving more money. This usually requires some work.
In some ways its easier to increase happiness by reducing our expectations. By reducing our sense of entitlement, we feel more gratitude. I recently cut my finger. How amazing it is that the blood clots, the cut heals and you don’t bleed to death. What are the odds? Think about the millions of organisms (your ancestors) that came before you and how many died for your benefit before evolution stumbled upon the miracle of clotting and an immune system. Or think about the sheer awesomeness of clean drinking water piped into your home.
About 10 years ago, without knowing it, I conducted a scientific experiment on happiness. I had been living in central London and after we had kids we wanted to move out to natural beauty and open spaces. We sold our small London terraced house and packed up. We hired a self storage unit (this is a clue you have too much shit). To give ourselves time and options, we moved into rented accommodation in the town where we were looking to buy.
Because we were renting, we didn’t want to waste money renting a large house. For six months, whilst we house-hunted, we lived comfortably in a house somewwhat smaller than our London terrace had been.
We then found and bought the biggest house we could afford. When I look back on it, I was an idiot conforming to a social norm. I thought that was just what “everyone” does.
Given the house was the most expensive thing I ever bought, you might expect that my happiness would shoot up and I’d be happier than Pharrell Williams or the pig in the photo above. Nope. Here’s what I discovered, shown in a graph which plots capital tied up in housing against my happiness:
If you are struggling to see the relationship, its because there is no relationship. The new house was fine – it just didnt have any effect on my happiness. This casts doubt on the common assumption that spending = happiness.
What does that mean? Being fit and healthy, plenty of sleep, eating a natural, low-carb diet, not being hung-over (too often). Being surrounded by the right people. No money worries, no ridiculous work deadlines. Humour sprinkled with profanity. Music. Sunshine. Being able to choose what I do.
These are huge wins for happiness.